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Swami Suddhananda |
It is really, absolutely important that we always
stay in control over our situations. Even if it so happens that
certain situations apparently overwhelm us, that time you very
consciously observe as to how we seem to be a bit helpless under the
circumstances, but never give up. We must be conscious of both the
rise and the fall of the waves and choose to ride a wave or lie low
for a wave to pass. We should never allow ourselves to be hit. When a
wave is high, we must just lie low so that the wave passes over. If
the wave is low, just jump over it.
Life seems to be exactly like swimming. The first
principle is, water never drowns anybody. It is just there. It has no
'job' as such as to drown, quench the thirst or help in swimming or
flooding. The water just 'is' and it depends on how we make use of
it. If somebody knows swimming, the water becomes a sport. When
somebody does not know swimming, the same water becomes somebody's
burial ground. You can use it to quench thirst, extinguish fire and
you can abuse it to flood a locality as even to drown. It all depends
upon the individual. The same universal principle applies to all
aspects of life. No element is a burden or a blessing! It all depends
on how we use it. You can extend that example to all things of life -
be it gold, riches, trees or animals.
But only at the level of human beings, the game
becomes a little tricky as unlike the elements and the objects, the
human beings have minds of their own. That is why human beings or
human relationships appear so complicated, confusing and painful. You
can also make it beautiful. But to make it so you, the individual,
must be beautiful. You can never, ever depend upon anybody or
anything else to make it beautiful for you. In case, the smoothness
or comfort of your life depends upon an object or being, then you'll
be constantly afraid of losing it. An 'object' may not go away by
itself, but 'you' have to go on 'protecting' like the cute car,
dress, ornaments, money, house, etc., that may be stolen or forcibly
taken away. When things need protection as they have no minds of
their own, the 'human beings' around cannot be forced or persuaded to
hang around, as they take their own decisions most of the time for
their own convenience with the least consideration for others. They
are always aware of their share of bargain and that is why most of
the people either vanish without notice or cling to the orbit of a
relationship helplessly to find some type of security. You cannot do
anything about the people who drop out, as they are no more around
for reasoning with them. And those who hang around because of some
reason or the other should not be taken seriously. Because these are
the people who are just biding their time and shall disappear once
they are sure to get or not to get what they are expecting.
Hence, it is absolutely stupid to blame people for
our misery, because they are just living out their fantasies, their
lives… on their own terms of security or insecurity. What is most
important is to look at ourselves and to find out for ourselves
whether we are 'depending', 'creating dependants' or whether we are
happy with our own selves and 'happy' to be with people for whoever
they are. Once you are sure of yourself, you will not manipulate
others and may choose to be or not to be manipulated by others. You
are always in control.
That is how you become a very honest person where
you no more try to play games to make people feel happy. If your
happiness depends upon others feeling comfortable around you, you may
hold some people for sometime with false promises and fragile hopes,
but soon everybody disappears as their needs are not fulfilled. You
may fulfil some needs of some people but you cannot take away the
emptiness unless the person himself/herself sees the fullness in
himself/herself.
That is why, in order to make oneself happy,
steady and comfortable, one must find the source of happiness and
fulfilment in one's own self and then learn to swim through life. The
water does not need to learn swimming. Life as such does not need any
learning to live through life. The animals and plant kingdoms live as
programmed.
But human beings, because of their
'individuality', wherein they are not only conscious but also
'self-conscious', can go haywire and, therefore, need to learn along
with other things, more about their own selves. Here, to learn
swimming is to learn about your own nature as to who you are, how the
emotions, thoughts happen and the nature of the sense organs, body
and the world around. The more you are aware of your own emotions,
you'll recognise more and more how others can function and therefore
are least worried about their mood swings and their attempts at
manipulations of various kinds. You can be a master of your own,
where you do not create any slaves but may accept to help creating
masters as even somebody had helped you to discover the independence,
the stability, the fulfilment in yourself!
Since you feel at home with yourself, you feel at
rest in all arrangements as you can 'choose' to give a place to
anything or anybody in your mind. We do not have much choice in
physical environment, though we can have some say over it, but the
mind is our own absolute kingdom and nobody or nothing can reach you
unless you drag it unto yourself. Since many people are not aware of
the nature of the functioning of the mind, they fall helpless victims
to many thoughts and suggestions. That is where the so-called
learning and teaching should be directed to help the individual to
understand the thinker and the thinking instead of just being a
gatherer of thoughts or being somebody on whom a few thoughts are
imposed.
Know yourself and be the master - not to enslave
something or somebody but to have friends and equals all around... Be
That! Be the Swimmer!
Swami Suddhananda
