|
 My
grandfather Tarachand Tikoo married my grandmother Tara in 1900, with
pomp and ritual lasting over a month. Relatives, close and distant,
came to stay in the house two months in advance. The women got busy
cleaning enormous quantities of grain, pounding paddy and grinding
chillies and other condiments with grinding stones and hand pounders.
A month before the function, the house was ritualistically cleaned, a
'yagna' (homam) was performed and the whole house was replastered with
fresh clay and cow dung. After this 'Livun', the family could start
visiting people to invite them for the wedding. The whole exercise was
actually a series of feasts. The first visit was to the maternal
grandparents, parents and the uncles; as the paternal side was
supposed to be conducting the function. Everywhere they went, they
were served a big feast and came back loaded with gifts and money (Dhapan
Bhat).
Next was the 'Krur
Kharu', 15 days before the marriage, a function to avert the evil eye
and welcome the gods and the benign forces of nature to reside in the
house. To the ritualistic singing of 'Hainjee' by older women, the
younger ones decorated the main doorway of the house and painted
auspicious signs and motifs, flowers, leaves, the sun, moon and the
sacred Sanskrit letter Om on the outer walls and tied auspicious
leaves to the gate. Big 'rangolis' were drawn outside the main gate
and in the compound. A kind of 'khichdi' of rice and walnut was cooked
in huge pots and distributed to relatives and the entire neighbourhood.
This was a signal that the public festivities had begun and everyone
should take part. Every night, a 'ladies sangeet' was held after
dinner from eight till midnight. Men were barred, but anyway they
managed to peep through the grills.
Women acted in a very
free and liberated manner. They dressed like men, made fun of their
male relatives and sang satirical songs. There also sang love songs
and Bhajans. For them, it was like a catharsis in the otherwise
restrictive society. On two nights, professional singers were invited.
Tea and snacks were served continuously to the audience by the
daughters-in-laws, who went around with large samovars. Thenceforth,
Tara could not leave the house. She had to be protected from the evil
eye and from any chance mishap. Ritual anointing of her body (ubatana)
daily with sandalwood paste, saffron, turmeric, milk, fragrant oils
started. Special attention was paid to the feet. A bride's feet had to
be as beautiful as her face. Chaffed or cracked feet (common in
Kashmir due to the cold climate) just would not do.
Three days before the
marriage was the great feast of 'Mehndi Rat' for all relatives,
friends and neighbours. Since women did not form part of the marriage
party, the 'Mehndi Rat' feast was very important for them. After the
feast, Tara's aunt (father's sister) applied mehndi or henna first to
her feet and then to her hands. In turn, she received gifts from the
family. Then she distributed mehndi to the guests, each of whom gave
her a small gift in cash. By the end, she was a rich woman. That day,
the ladies sangeet lasted the whole night and was the happiest part of
the marriage.
A day before the
marriage was the 'Devgoan' ceremony - a ritualistic bath for the
bride, followed by a purifying and sanctifying 'yagna'. It included
sanctifying the jewels and vessels being given to the bride. All these
articles were worshipped and the family priest invoked the gods to
bless the young bride and her dowry. As is the general custom in
Kashmir, the marriage (lagan) was performed in the night and in the
morning the five-year-old bride was carried to the waiting palanquin
by her maternal uncle to be taken to her husband's house. She wore an
Arabian style head-to-toe 'burka'. Islamic influence could also be
seen from the fact that Kashmiri Hindu upper caste women observed 'pardah'
(the veil) and wore a 'burka' similar to that worn by the Muslim upper
class women. The bride returned the same day and continued to stay in
her parental home till she attained puberty.
(To be continued…)
|
