How does one undertake to describe the temple of Lord Srinivasa at Tirumala? I am no Thyagaraja, who burst out in agonised song when the screen at the sanctum sanctorum closed just as he approached it. "Teratiyagaradha" - "remove the veil of pride and envy, which, so firm within me, keeps me out of the reach of dharma and moksha" - he sang, and the screen miraculously opened. Nor am I an Annamayya, who devoted his entire life to composing hundreds of songs steeped in devotion, in praise of Lord Venkateshwara. I am not an M S Subbulakshmi, who can infuse a feeling of intense fervour in her listeners while singing Rajaji's "Kurai Ondrum Illai Govinda". I am not even the ordinary devotee, willing to stand for hours in a queue for a split second darshan of the Lord. I am just one of those who feels the pull to go to Tirupati suddenly, without warning. I raise Cain till I get there, ignoring the inconvenience I am putting others to around me.

I read somewhere that witnessing the Temple Car festival of Lord Srinivasa confers moksha. So I set off with my husband to witness it. The crowds were huge. The Lord in his chariot passed by in a blur. A garland from the chariot fell on my husband's hands. Many reached out for flowers from it. At the same time, someone opened my handbag, which my husband was carrying, and took away a purse containing all my keys. The keys were bunched together in a chain with a picture of Lord Srinivasa. Miraculously, a week later, I got the purse back, with all the keys and the key chain intact. Despite the huge crowds that had assembled for the Brahmotsavam, a TTD official spotted the keys lying on a roadside and mailed the purse to us.

I shed tears at that moment. But when I was asked if I was now satisfied that God was everywhere and that it was not necessary to rush to Tirupati and to temple after temple to see him, I replied in the negative. I had to go again and again. I have been a humble witness to the silent yet resounding "Suprabhata Darshan", the serene and peaceful "Archana Seva", the bright and colourful "Kalyana Utsavam" and the busy and bustling Brahmotsavam. Thousands line the four prakaras of the temple as the Lord comes out in his various chariots. "Govinda, Govinda", they cry in a chant that is immutable.

I have prayed to the Lord on the hill, to the seven hills themselves and to the Goddess who abides in Tiruchanoor on the plains. I have witnessed the awesome sight of Goddess Padmavathy astride the Garuda Vahana. I have prayed to Lord Govindaraja who is in crowded Tirupati town in grand recumbent posture. I have worshipped at quiet Srinivasamangapuram, which is on the Chittoor road from "Keezh Tirupati". All this, and still I am unable to describe the temple of Lord Srinivasa at Tirumala.

Ambujam Anantharaman

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