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Anger management - What you need to know Anger destroys
a person’s health, personal life, career and even social life. A
casual family window-shopping trip can turn out to be most
distressing trip for the entire family if a family member gets
into an angry outburst either with a family member or a
stranger. Says Ravi Samuel, a psychotherapist: “Anger is an
emotion ranging in severity from irritation to intense fury. Its
impact is psychological, and it can impair a person’s ability to
think rationally and logically.” He continues, “Anger is also
accompanied by a physiological arousal to respond verbally or
physically.” Is it not getting common these days to see two
people on the road swearing at each other?
A powerful emotion
As we attempt to comprehend the factors that trigger off anger,
it becomes vital to understand that biologically, the amygdala
(also known as the ‘feeling brain’) experiences emotions prior
to the thalamus (known as the ‘thinking brain’). This explains
why a person, spurred by anger, tends to indulge in certain
verbal expressions and physical acts. “Anger is caused by
interpreting external events as an insult to a person’s dignity
or that of others and can further intensify by repeatedly
pondering over such events,” adds Samuel.
A growing concern
Stress, inter-personal conflicts and the distressing breakdown
of relationships can have adverse effect on some people and can
manifest itself in difficulties in controlling anger. Anger has
become a common problem today for almost all age groups,
irrespective of gender.
“Children are being brought to my clinic by parents concerned
about their child’s destructive activities and uncontrollable
behaviour,” states Samuel. “Executives who are troubled by their
inability to deal effectively with their team-mates, also seek
my help. Moreover, housewives too, when faced with deteriorating
relationships with their spouse and children, approach me for
guidance.”
It has been discovered that anger can be influenced by genetic
factors and social circumstances too. Also, people from
disturbed family backgrounds may display a greater
predisposition to anger. Samuel adds, “On the other hand, anger
is an emotion that should be expressed. However, you require
knowledge to help you handle this powerful emotion.”
Implications of anger
Anger is known to have a huge impact on a person’s mental and
physical health. If overlooked, it can lead to problems such as
high blood pressure, stroke, heart attack, insomnia headaches,
digestion problems, abdominal pain, loss of hair and skin
problems (eczema) too. It can also lead to disorders such as
anxiety and depressive disorders.
“Suppressing anger, however, without dealing with the underlying
cause or emotion, can also have a negative effect and can lead
to passive-aggressive behaviour and hostility,” reveals Samuel.
“Being assertive without being destructive is the best balance
you can learn in dealing with this emotion. Physical violence
towards people is certainly abusive behaviour, which I seek to
actively discourage,” he states.
Anger management techniques
“There are several techniques, such as relaxation techniques and
cognitive restructuring, which can be practised to overcome
anger,” assures Samuel. “However, in cases of uncontrollable
anger, a psychotherapist will also have to work on the person’s
self-esteem, emotional coping techniques and problem-solving
capabilities.”
While some people seek timely help when their relationships get
affected due to poor anger management, there are others who even
opine that anger is a 'life skill' that they are equipped with.
“It is such people who are likely to suffer from the impact of
anger on their mental and physical well-being and this can also
adversely affect the quality of life of people around them,”
emphasises Samuel.
What is CBT?
CBT is a combination of cognitive therapy, which examines
undesirable thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs (known as cognitive
processes) and behaviour therapy, which focuses on the behaviour
adopted in response to such thoughts. With the help of
structured techniques, a CBT therapist seeks to identify the
thoughts that cause distress.
CBT encourages challenging negative beliefs to gain a realistic
view of situations. This involves a collaborative effort between
the therapist and client, to work on the client's problems and
help equip the client with beneficial skills to overcome
distortions in thought patterns.
A case study…
Ranganathan (45), a very efficient manager in a multinational
company, was faced with growing resentment from his staff and
the management, due to his display of anger on trivial issues
too. Ranganathan also found most of his ideas turned down by the
board of directors. Aware of the implications of the situation,
he approached Samuel.
On detailed evaluation, it was discovered that he displayed a
highly condescending attitude towards the staff and derived a
sense of mastery by shouting at people. His presumption was that
his subordinates would perform their duties out of morbid fear
and was even blissfully oblivious of the resentment and
hostility.
Samuel identified his dysfunctional thoughts, faulty beliefs and
undesirable behaviour. Using CBT, techniques such as 'mirroring'
and 'benefit analysis', Samuel enabled Ranganathan to resolve his issues amicably and
overcome his anger.
The 'mirroring' technique involves the therapist enacting the
behaviour of the person, which helps put him on guard against
such dysfunctional actions.
'Benefit analysis' is another technique in which the therapist
enables the person to understand how his actions, if replaced
with right behaviour, can be beneficial to him in several ways.
With CBT gaining a firm foothold on treating psychological
issues, anger management techniques can provide respite to those
in need of help in managing their emotions.
Divya Mohandas
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