MS
here talks about the influences of great musicians in her childhood and her
first perfornance at the Music Academy:
"Veena players were always
anxious to impress mother. Once, when such a musician came home, somehow Sakti
and I guessed that he would be quite awful. And we were right.
The veena is a delicate
instrument. It has to be plucked and stroked gently. But this man pulled and
grabbed and pushed and banged. What made it worse was that he had chosen to play
an old, soulful raga called Sahana. And he chose to repeat the words, "Rakshasa
Bhima." You know what it means! Just imagine listening to a noisy player
repeating the words, 'a gigantic demon'. I choked as I stifled my giggles.
Vadiva and Sakti were just as bad. Mother glared icily at us. But how could we
stop laughing, especially when, at an explosive twang, the string broke and
curled up with a squeak!
At another time, we had a
musician who played the jalatarangam for us (jal means water and tarangam mean
wave). The instrument consists of a set of china bowls, each filled with a
different level of water. The player taps the bowls with two sticks and there
you have it -- water music! It is like the tinkling of little bells.
I also listened to a lot of
music on the radio. We didn't own one, but if I sat by the window halfway up the
staircase, I could hear our neighbour's radio clearly. That is how I got
introduced to Hindustani music. How enchanting it was to hear Abdul Karim Khan,
Amir Khan or Paluskar, their voices sweetened by the silence of the night.
Hindustani music was not
unknown to us in the south. The Maratha kings who had ruled over Tanjavur had
made it popular among music lovers. I learnt Hindustani music for a while from
Pandit Narayan Rao Vyas. This was to help me a lot when I grew up and acted in
the film Meera. Then I had the privilege of singing Meerabai's songs. "Shyama
Sundara Madana Mohana" was one of the songs that Pandit Vyas taught me. It
was to become a hit when I sang it in Seva Sadan -- a film based on Munshi
Premchand's novel.
Living a sheltered life as I
did, what could I know of fashions? The only 'cosmetics' I had were turmeric
powder and gram flour. There was kajal for the eyes and chaandu -- red and black
paste stored in coconut shells, with which we made dots on the forehead. And, of
course, coconut oil.
Mother used to get quite tired
as she rubbed oil into my hair on Tuesday and Fridays. Then she would spread my
hair out on the stone where we washed our clothes, and wash it with shikakai. My
hair was long and thick and extremely curly. I smile when I see the corkscrew
curls in my old photographs!
From the staircase window, I
would watch the world outside. That is how I saw the girls in the opposite house
getting ready to go out. They were dabbing something on their faces which made
them white. Of course I didn't know it was face powder. I rubbed my hands along
the white-washed wall and tried the effect on my face. You can imagine how
irritated my mother was when she caught me at it. Her "Don't be
stupid!" came with a slap.
I must tell you that street
sounds were very different then from what you hear now. There was much less
noise. Many more hawkers and vendors came by. They sold all kinds of goods, from
vegetables to bangles. Then there was the man with the performing monkey; the
snake charmer with his small pipe called magudi which played an eerie tune; the
Govinda man who rolled across the street in yellow robes, as he collected alms
to go to the Tirupati temple; the bhoom-bhoom maadu or the bull which told
fortunes… each had his own way of singing and reciting. I remember the songs
of the beggars. Never film songs, but catchy folk tunes. The beggar who made
nightly rounds used to sing a haunting Hindustani tune!
I was also fascinated by
records -- gramophone plates, we called them. Inspired by the gramophone
company's logo of the dog listening to his master's voice, I would pick up a
sheet of paper, roll it into a long cone, and sing into it for hours. This dream
came true sooner than I expected, when my mother took me to Madras to cut my
first disc. I was 10 years old and sang in an impossibly high pitch!
I lost my father at about the
same time. He was a lawyer. His heart was not in the court, but in his puja room
with Sri Rama. Every year he would celebrate the Rama Navami festival with great
love and care. The picture of Rama, decorated beautifully with flowers, would be
taken through the streets in a grand procession. This was on the saarattu, an
open, horse-drawn buggy. How proud I felt when father picked me up and made me
sit with him on that saarattu! After the rounds, the picture would be carefully
taken into the house, and after the puja, father would lead the group singing of
bhajans (hymns). Then came what all the children waited for: the distribution of
prasad (food that was sanctified by offering it to God)!
As a child, I had a pet name.
Everyone called me Kunjamma, which meant little girl. But my father had another
special name for me. It was always "Rajaathi, my little princess!" He
was very proud of my singing. He would say that he would get me married only to
someone who would cherish my music. Then he would laugh and tease, "So how
about a nice boy who plays the tambura? Do you fancy such a husband?"
I have one more green memory to
share. Dakshinamurti Pillai was an awe-inspiring musician of those times. He
played the mridangam and the ghatam. A wedding in his family drew a whole galaxy
of musicians. Young and old, they came to his hometown Pudukkottai, not only to
attend the function, but also to perform their best before the veteran. I was a
young girl then, but I was given the chance to sing in that assembly. The next
day, as we took leave of him, Pillai made us sit down. He turned to his fellow
musicians, many of them top performers of the time. He said, "You heard
this child yesterday. No fuss, no show, no fireworks. Didn't she sing straight
from the heart and give us excellent, wholesome music? That is the kind of music
which will always stay fresh, and last through a lifetime."
I was so overcome by these
words that I shrank behind mother and tried to turn invisible. But he called me
forward and gave his blessings.
Right from childhood, just as I
felt devotion towards God, I felt a deep respect for my elders. Whenever
something good happened, I believed it was due to their good wishes. And I must
say that right through my life I was lucky to get their blessings.
My first important performance
as a singer was at the Music Academy in Madras. It was to be a full-fledged,
three-hour concert there before an audience of musicians, critics and music
lovers. I was 18. I shivered and trembled before the event. Trying not to look
at the listeners, I went up to the stage, sat down, checked the tuning of the
tambura, and began.
Suddenly, my fears fell away. I
sang with joy. Chemba Vaidyanath Bhagavatar, a well-known singer, had been
sitting at the back. He got up and came to the front row, loudly expressing his
approval. Others too were quick to say "Bhesh! Bhesh!" and "Shabhash!"
I treasure the words of the great veena player Sambasiva Iyer. He said, 'Subbulakshmi?
Why, she carries a veena in her throat!'
That concert at the Music
Academy was a very big step for me -- a step towards a lifetime of singing. And
of devotion and service through the pursuit of music."
(As told to Gowri Ramnarayan,
Past Forward, Oxford University Press, 1997)