The organisers' questions

I have been contemplating an article with this kind of a flavour for well over a year or so. However, it is fair to say that the act of putting finger to keyboard was spurred mainly by Sanjay's article on the 'US Tour Question Bank'. It may be true that the artiste is bombarded with the same set of questions at any venue. Is there a reason for this madness?

In some sense this article represents the organisers' right of reply! Any organiser living overseas interacts with several artistes every year. Being one such organiser, I thought I would write a bit about these interactions.

In my experience, there are three sorts of artistes that tour overseas:

• The been-there-done-that type;

• The unnecessarily humble type;

• The feet-on-the-ground type;

The first two types of artistes are actually only interested in selling themselves. The only difference is that while the first type is wholeheartedly unabashed about it, the second type does it much more covertly!

Unfortunately, there are very few of the third type of artistes! They have nothing to prove; to themselves or to me or to you! They come along and perform their art in a brilliant manner. They are also incredibly self-aware! Sadly, they are also a vanishing, endangered species!

In this, the first of three articles, we will supply answers provided by the 'Been-there-done-that' type of artiste. This trilogy will be concluded with a more serious, wrap-up article titled 'The joys and perils of organising Carnatic music concerts overseas'.

Preliminaries:

In this article, the use of the male pronoun (him/his/etc) is more for the sake of simplicity, although the female form is equally applicable!

Just as Sanjay's original article was in jest, I have my tongue firmly planted in my cheek while writing this!

Scene setting:

These questions would normally commence at the airport, where one (or more) of us organisers would drive to receive the artistes from wherever they were last performing/staying.

Immediately after receiving them at the airport gate we'd head off towards the car park where I'd have my one-year-old Toyota Camry parked. This would have been cleaned at the local car wash just that afternoon, in preparation for the arrival! After the normal pleasantries which would include a few mandatory polite enquires (from them, on the prevailing weather in my town and from me, on the comfort of the flight they currently undertook to get here), we would all head off towards the car park. In the silence that would ensue, I'd kick off by asking:

When did you reach the States?

"Only 2 months ago saaaar," he'd say with an unwarranted amount of hand wringing and body contorting, thereby displaying a generous serve of misplaced modesty. However, through this "show" of diffidence, he has managed to get his principal point across, which was the undue emphasis on the word "only"!

He has also, perhaps, evinced a raised eyebrow from me! He'd then continue, "As time flies and as I continue to do such trips repeatedly, which, by the grace of God and with your continued good wishes I am able to do on a sustained and continued basis, such long tours are becoming more and more difficult!"

And, after a significant pause, while we negotiate our way past the turnstiles at the car park, he would continue, "By the way, did you bring a mini van? You see we have a lot of luggage including four mridangams. This is the problem with a long and arduous 4-month tour of the US. Saar, why don't you organisers all get together and have some rotation system put in place? This year 10 of the sites in the US can have my concert. Next year, another 10 can have my concert! That way, the overall tour can be shorter, we can come with fewer luggage and we will also be less stressed when we perform. After all, giving off the best performance is the key issue, right?"

Of course, not to mention repeated trips to the US, I'd think to myself!

"But," he'd continue with unflappable ease and a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders, "thankfully, by the grace of God, my gurus and my parents, I have no problem in this regard. Every performance of mine turns out excellent, whatever my physical/emotional state is. However, for the artistes who are not so able, this could present a problem right? On top of managing the concerts and the tour, managing all the interactions and being organised about the luggage is another big headache. You see, as a result of travelling away from India for four months, we have lots of luggage and you'd need a mini van. At Detroit we had a major problem. The host got a Toyota Camry to the airport. He told us that the car has seen the beginning and the end of many an artistes' tour and that it would fit everything. However, we had to rent a taxi in addition, as our luggage would not fit in. In the end, the embarrassment is for all of us, right?"

Meanwhile, I'd be thinking, "Oh God! Another three days of this?" However, in order to continue the polite chitchat I'd continue…

Which city did you perform last?

"I can hardly remember that saaaaar! Maybe I am getting old or something." So saying, he'd turn to one of his accompanists who would be sitting dutifully and mutely in the back seat of the car, verify and then come up with the answer, "Aaah! Of course, Dayton! How could I forget! But one performs so many concerts that one tends to forget where one was yesterday and where one is headed today. But I can tell you that I am looking forward to performing here so much… You have a very knowledgeable audience here. And this will be a real test for me! Moreover, you all take so much pains to organise these concerts. Although this is your 50th concert, you have been organising everything with the same level of passion as you did when I was first here about 10 years ago."

By then, we'd have manoeuvred the car park traffic and be headed home. Been-there-done-that would be seated alongside me on the front seat. The two accompanists would be seated in the back seat. The luggage has fitted neatly into the car boot, and I'd drive out of the car park with a smug look of achievement on my face!

As I drive out of the car park, Been-there-done-that would turn to the accompanists to recount (wrongly) experiences from his first trip here! He'd say, "Smitha is a wonderful cook and his children are wonderful examples of how kids should be raised in the States. They speak Tamil fluently and sing with such aplomb, you'd think they were born and brought up in Mylapore."

Wrong! My wife is Sunitha and my children do not speak even a sentence in Tamil nor will they ever be interested in Carnatic music! I've long since given up on coaxing and cajoling them in that direction. Yet! I'd nod politely understanding his primary need to go one up on his accompanists. He has, as a result of this part of the conversation, communicated to the accompanists that he has "Been-there-done-that" as if it was crucially necessary to do so for the 20th time on the same day!

Nevertheless, he'd continue to the accompanists, "Pavamaana's service to music is unassailable. He used to be a budding musician in his younger days. His pursuit of engineering and higher education put paid to his musical interests… Paavam".

Hence my name-change to Pavam-aana after over 900 such utterances! Moreover, I was never a musician or even an aspiring musician! My basic interest in music stems from my mother who used to teach veena to a bunch of kids in the neighbourhood in Mandaveli, where I grew up!

But the soliloquy would continue, apparently directed at the accompanists, "But he does a brilliant job of organising concerts over here. His finicky attention to detail is unsurpassed. The concerts always start on time. The stage is so clean and the mike system is really excellent!" Yawn! "I wish they organise concerts in Madras the way Pavamaana does over here."

And on hearing that, I would groan and think, "Oh my God! There goes the next half-hour, lost in his anti-Madras-sabha-secretary tirade." Not wanting to lose the whole of the next half-hour, I'd jump in at an opportune moment when he drew breath to ask.

Where are you performing next?

"I think it is Los Angeles. But as far as we are concerned, this concert of yours is the main concert on the tour! By the way, please tell me, are we staying with you? Do you still live in that nice, small apartment?" So saying, he'd turn to the accompanists, who'd be almost dozing by now, and describe the smallness of the apartment I used to live in when he was last here! He'd say, "Although that apartment was really cramped, the hospitality that they showered on me and the cosiness of the place made me not want to leave the place at all."

Yes! I have moved from that apartment I used to live in. I actually liked that old place quite a lot and do not really like it being referred to as cosy (read: small and insufficient to host an artiste as big as Been-there-done-that!). So, in a desperate bid to deflect attention away from the "cosiness" of my previous humble abode, I'd ask:

It must be very difficult with all this travel!

"By the grace of God and the best wishes of my gurus, my parents, Ronald Reagan, Monica Lewinsky, Tony Blair and everyone else known to mankind, I have had plenty of experience at this sort of travel. We tend to get used to it The first few times were difficult. Then, of course, after the 10th time or so [checks to see if I have raised my eyebrows, which I obligatorily do!] I got used to it!" Often this proclamation would be accompanied with a turn to the accompanists for confirmation. The said accompanists would be seated glumly in the rear-seat. And sure enough, as if on cue, they would nod too in harmony!

Often such airport-to-home trips would be impregnated with deafening silence. Sometimes, I'd attempt to snuff out the silence by attempting to play some Carnatic music. In the early days, I have often got my ears burned through my selection of "inappropriate" music. I'd think to myself, "I must be careful not to select any of the hundred other musicians that this person cannot stand." Sometimes, I may have made a mistake! And the result would have been a masked-crusade in the car! These days, I normally settle for an MDR, a Madurai Mani, a Ramnad Krishnan and a Semmangudi. One can't go too wrong with that choice!

Moreover, as an organiser, I have long since realised that, on such journeys, the other people in the car are not really interested in finding out anything about me! After the very first question asked me by a visiting artiste, I felt that it would be better to ask them questions in an uninterrupted volley rather than be asked! I was asked, "Yenna velai pannarel indha oorule! Neenge yenna saaar, computer-aa?" (What work do you do in this country saaar? Are you a computer?"). I politely replied, "No, I am a professor in a university", thinking to myself, "No. I believe I am a human being"!

But, more seriously, in all my experience of organising concert tours, only two artistes have ventured to find out what I do for a living and why I find what I do even remotely interesting! So, I have long since learnt that the only form of conversation, especially with the 'Been-there-done-that' type (the sort that is in my car at the moment) is one wherein I exhibit a continuous and uninterrupted flow of interest in him! And I have also learned that any silence is best filled with music of the above mentioned four stalwarts.

So, I choose this point of time to start playing my carefully chosen Semmangudi tape. On picking up and seeing the cassette cover, our 'Been-there-done-that' would ruffle up the by-now-dozing accompanists, and say, "Look how saar has documented these tapes. He has a database to print all the labels and so on. No one else has this level of eye for detail, right?" So saying, he has ensured that everyone in the car has his total attention, "Actually, Semmangudi mama likes my music a lot. Of course, I am fortunate that a lot of the doyens like my music a lot." A needless imitation of Semmangudi would follow!

He'd then listen more closely to the music and say "Saaar! You've made a mistake in the documentation. The mridangam accompanist is not TPT, it is actually PPQ". So saying, he'd turn back to the accompanists. One of them would feel that it is TPT and the other would think it is MMA. However, in the end, we'd all settle for PPQ.

At this point I'd normally turn the volume up a few notches. As we listen to Semmangudi's 'Deva deva in mayamalavagowla', I continue to ask.

How many concerts have you finished so far?

"I think 30 so far! But who keeps count, tell me? You know! I have to point out my fundamental philosophical distinction in regard to the number of concerts." And I would wince on hearing that, thinking, "Groan Lecture No 1 of 999." What's more? I have heard this lecture last year itself, when he was here! Yet, I would nod slothfully and indulgently, willing him on and wondering when the ride home from the airport will conclude, so that I can run into the peaceful seclusion of my bathroom!

And so, the lecture would commence, "Thankfully, by the good grace of the Holy Lord, the best wishes of my gurus, my parents and everyone else known to mankind, I have been touring the US every year ever since I can remember. But there are many other artistes who do not make it to the US so often. Moreover, some of them come only on very short tours.

"I have realised that it is not the quantity, but the quality that matters! My fans and well wishers also give me continuous feedback that the quality is also there, but I do want to re-state the fundamental philosophy that quantity should not matter. But you know"

At this point, I quickly abort the lecture and interject with another question!

How many concerts do you have left?

"I think I have about 20 more. The current sponsor has organised too much this time. I have to do something about it the next time I tour!" And I think to myself, "This is exactly what he said last year too!"

But, he'd continue, "However, there are some things I am doing differently this time round. I am also reading a paper at Berkeley at an important international conference, I am giving a lecture at Boston and a talk to a select group of invitees from the UN Security Council. As it is, I didn't want to do all of this. I am far more comfortable giving concerts to Indian audiences! All of you take so much trouble inviting artistes and so on. You are all doing such yeomen service [yawn!] to Carnatic music. I just wanted to repay all of that and the love that you all show towards me. However, Berkeley, Stanford and the UN were really pressing me. So, I gave in reluctantly this time. And moreover, it is my way of giving back to music by spreading it to the whites as well. But my fundamental philosophy [Another fundamental one?] is that one should never 'over-expose' oneself." At which point I think, "Then, why are you foisting yourself on us every year?"

And after a 4-minute gap during which we hear the neraval around "jaatha roopa", I continue with my questioning

When do you get back to India?

"Oh! Don't ask! I have to be in this country till May. I really miss my family and my parents especially. That reminds me! I have to call my parents when I reach home. It will only be a quick half-hour call. Moreover, I also have to call a student of mine in Dubai and another one in South Africa. They will really trouble me otherwise. They have to hear from me everyday. Anyway, please make a note of all the phone costs and I will repay you before I leave from here."

And I think to myself, "Yes! That is what you said last time too!" In a desperate bid to divert the attention from phone calls, I press on with more mundane questioning of our respected friend.

Where do you live in India?

"Parasuvakkam. Now tell me saaaaar why should you live in Mylapore? Tell me? My fundamental philosophy [Oh?] is that one should live where one is comfortable. Not where one is forced to live." This would be followed by yet another tirade against sabha-secretaries for their pro-Mylapore bias and politicians, for their general apathy for needs and amenities in areas like Parasuvakkam. So, in a bid to get things back to a level of polite-natured banter of a musical content, I'd ask.

Is music your profession? Can you manage with music as your profession?

"By the grace of God, my gurus, my parents and everyone else known to mankind, I am able to sustain it. I get called to perform all over the world continually. There are other musicians who also try, but they are all quite impoverished and struggle to make ends meet. Hmm! As a community, we have to do something about it! You are all so resourceful. You have to do something about helping the less fortunate or the less able. Why don't we all organise a concert over here in your town this Fall? The objective of this would be to raise funds for impoverished musicians. I can be the artistic director of the show and you, with your brilliant and unsurpassed organisational skills, can be the logistics director. I can organise all the top artistes and get them all to play in this fund-raiser. Of course, I will perform free-of-charge and find out if the rest of them will do so too. When we go home we can work out the figures and see if they add up! What do you say saaar?"

I'd think to myself, "It is hard enough getting 50 people through the door for this one concert in this blooming town! I had to learn that most of the "semi-interested" people in my town are either having their relatives over or are going away inter-state on the day of the concert of Been-there-done-that. Given this as the backdrop, do I need to take on something like this?" But, I'd politely say, "Yeah, it is worth considering," and try and deflect attention with a further question.

Which place did you like so far?

"To me, every place is like heaven. I have no particular preferences. People of all sorts like my music. But I must say that your town offers most peace of mind. You know my fundamental philosophy [Yeah?] is that the atmosphere matters more than anything else. You have such a wonderful ambience in your home and that is the one that makes us all feel so welcome and homely. It is as if I am at my own home! [You are welcome to pick up my mortgage too, in that case!]. But I do like all places. But, heart-of-hearts, I actually prefer staying at home and doing japam. Even when I go visiting the US, Australia, Singapore, Swaziland and anywhere else, I have never really gone sightseeing! I do not get to see too many places. Without my family, you can never really enjoy. I hope that with the grace of God and the presence of committed people like you, I will be able to bring my family along on my next trip. They should also marvel at the peace that your country and town offers right?"

[Of course, I know that he would have probably seen more sites than I can ever dream of seeing, including two visits to Disneyland and several roller-coaster rides on the same tour!]. But I continue the polite banter

What do you like about this country?

"The peace of mind You see, in India, we are all stuck with the politics and the chaos on the roads. Of course, with the grace of God, my gurus, my parents and everyone else known to mankind, I am able to take holidays every year. I would often disappear to places like Rishikesh, Kulu-Manali and Benares for months on end to contemplate my music in these serene surrounds. But, tell me, how many people have such opportunities? It is really difficult to do this on a sustained basis though? But actually what is so special about your place, tell me? Other than people like you, there is nothing that attracts us to places like this. It is only because dedicated music lovers like you are here, we do not want to disappoint you! We know how much you miss the music season. That is why we want to visit here and play for you. It is only out of friendship that we want to visit your country."

How many songs do you know?

He'd say, "You see, in Carnatic music, it is not important to know a lot of songs! Quantity is not important! However, it is important to sing the songs the right way as our teachers and forefathers have taught us. My fundamental philo.."

I interject, "Saaaaaaaaaaaar, we are home now"!

Conclusion:
I am determined to find a home that is closer to the airport before this artiste visits next, which, by the looks of it, could be later this year, despite previously proclaimed risks of over-exposure!

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Published on ^12th Feb, 2004