Hi-tech gadgets-III

We continue with the series of new patents developed by humourist Konai Kavirayar.

More from the wonderful world of 'Phony' - the No 1 company in music electronics:

kONalO-graphy

Specially designed for artistes who make all kinds of faces when they sing. The OHP superimposes the facial image of the artiste on to his face while the artiste sings - especially useful for the faint-hearted in the audience.

De-recorder

This is a special filter used in the microphone which prevents anybody from recording the concert illegally. It uses state-of-the-art Digital Pro-Allergic technique which affects the sruti of the recording so that each track (vocal, violin, mridangam, etc.) is forced to take a different sruti and the sruti set changes every now and then. However, this cannot be noticed by the audience during the concert.

Choice-O-Box

This is a new 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'-style handset that will be given to every rasika - so that the audience can choose each and every song that is played.

Tara-Mantra-Extrapolator

This is a new device that is immensely helpful to the artiste when he has a cold or sore throat. When singing in mantra stayi or tara stayi, the artiste doesn’t have to fear about “bulbs” and all he/she needs to do is to point to the octave that he/she needs to sing (by pointing higher or lower). The extrapolator takes charge and renders the particular note in the artiste’s voice, thus saving him/her from embarrassment.

Lumbagger

A special device that an artiste uses to reduce the risk of lumbago (back pain). Using the device, he/she appears to have bowed or prostrated  before the sabha secretary but actually has not done anything.

Pin-Talam

This is not a new type of tALam but a talo meter that keeps track of the layam sense of the audience. Anybody found putting wrong tALam (be it during a kriti or tani) will have their body pricked with a needle, that will be attached to the seat (there are 12 differently positioned needles on every seat).

Betel-Challenge

This device decodes the noises/sounds made by anyone speaking while chewing betel leaves, into meaningful words. Twenty languages and 40 accents supported

Noise-2-Naais

Rasika’s safety not compromised! This handy device for the rasika is in fact a mini-recorder that records peak noise from the concert for use against street dogs (nAis) when getting back home after a concert. The nAis avoid a perimeter of 20 metres of this device when active.

To be continued...

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Published on ^18th March, 2004