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It is the time of the year and the scene is
same in virtually any school across the US. Thousands of
students come all the way from India with dreams and hopes, and
they land with a bang. And as a student here, I know how hard it
is to shift from the past and embrace the future. The culture
shock, the food, the classes, the research, and the legal issues
are enough to make the sane turn insane but every year scores of
students do it and yes they learn to survive. But remember it is
the survival of the fittest and there are some who lag behind,
who are totally overwhelmed by the changes.
I had it easy as I started my Masters program
after my marriage and I had a one-man support army behind me;
encouraging me and helping me out. But with majority of the desi
students, it is not the same case. Yes, some might have aunts
and uncles to spread out the red carpet but most of them are
left to their own, clutching passports and being stranded.
Learning to survive is not difficult; you’ll
ultimately reach the shores, but to do it with ease is the
trick. And believe me there are so many hands reaching out to
help and most Indian students view them skeptically and are
scared of asking for help. They prefer to rough it out without
seeking help and this is something I find strange.
If you are a new student in the US, or if you
have a friend, cousin, sibling whoever is making their first
trip to the US, tell them to feel free to ask for help. It
doesn’t cost anything to ask and just a heartfelt thanks is
enough. So go ahead, ask the volunteers, the international
office people to help and they need not be Indians to help you.
People help you regardless of your language
and your race, you just need to ask. And this is the biggest
thing I have seen amongst Indian students, the fear, and the
hesitancy to ask for help. And when someone offers you help,
small or big, accept it gracefully. No one is offering help
because they are forced to do it; they do it because they want
to. Smile, say thanks, and accept it and in a small way you
bring some goodwill into your life and theirs. Say, I invite
some Indian students home, they always say ‘no’ because they
believe they are troubling me. But I won’t offer it if I did not
mean it, right? I just want to be friendly, do not put barriers
between us by thinking you are doing the right thing.
I know it is tough forming new friendships
and new hobbies at the wise old age of 20 and that too in a new
country, but make an attempt. Friends and hobbies will keep you
sane in the otherwise insane world called graduate school.
Friends need not just be Indians, they can be anyone with whom
you can sit and talk and be yourself. Friends turn to be
sounding posts and people who will be around when you go through
a rough patch in life. And learn to trust and maintain a few
friends without whom you’ll be lost in the American lifestyle.
Hobbies, be they something indoor or outdoor,
give you a chance to learn and grown beyond the classroom and
research activities. Join the gym or start with yoga or collect
stamps, they are windows to another world and also a time to be
at peace with yourself.
And just the final touch: spread out and
help. Just as someone helped you, there are so many students
coming in who need help. Why do you keep hiding in that shell of
yours? Everyone is busy, but you can always spare time, a few
minutes, to cheer up someone’s life, might be a phone call or
just a home cooked meal will make someone’s day and before you
know it will come back to you cheering up your day.
Good luck, new graduate students! Hope you
have smooth sailing! And remember if at some point of time you
feel your boat is sinking and you are feeling depressed, please
get help. Most universities offer a good support system and
access to counselors who will surely help you. Ask and give
freely! Good luck!
- V
http://poohsden.blogspot.com/
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