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I have one regular reader and critique for
everything I write. Every article that is published is read and
commented upon. Comments range from that was a good one to you
could have added this. Whatever they are, I always look forward
to them and enjoy them. And my article about
surviving grad school in the US evoked the best response
from my regular commenter, “Ha, ha, ha, you are kidding! Did you
even write it? Oh my!” It might be strange to you to wonder why
I call that the best comment, it is because the commenter was my
mother and moms know the best. Let me go ahead and explain.
Anyone who knew me during my childhood days
will say I was the shyest girl they have ever seen. They have
cajoled, begged, threatened, bribed, teased and tried all tricks
they knew to get me to talk but I never ever worked up the
courage to talk to them. My favourite hangout was the safe
confines of my mother’s saree, clinging to her legs; I played
peek-a-boo as people wondered if I ever talk.
Sometimes the brave would scoot down to my
level and try to make eye contact and talk and the minute they
did that, my eyes would flood with tears and I would end up
embarrassing both my mother and the well-meaning person who
tried to make a conversation with me.
I am not the same girl today, yes, I am shy
and lack the confidence to face the world but I have learnt to
keep it confined and leant to face the world with a mask of
confidence. Recently, a good friend remarked I have more
ambition than confidence and it is 100 per cent true. Within me
I am the shy girl still who is afraid of talking to strangers
and taking the first step, but none of my acquaintances would
guess it. And, yes, I am one of the successful graduates from
the school of breaking shyness barriers. And for all those who
are interested, this is how I did it:
Overcoming something is not easy, it requires
a lot of will power and persistence and I am glad my family has
that. They took the first step; they started pushing me into
public events and team activities. It was small things playing
on my strengths, like encouraging me to join the debate club
because I loved reading, joining a dance group because I loved
dancing. Yes, I ended up successful in giving speeches,
addressing crowds, debating my head off and dancing at every
single occasion but I still begged off visiting strangers and
the waterworks started every time I had to meet with unknown
people. But it was a beginning. You probably know the first step
is the hardest and to take it you need support and I had it. And
for that I am eternally grateful to my family, who pushed and
prodded me to take the step.
But I realised taking the first step is not
the end of the journey, the journey has just started and to keep
up the momentum you need support and I admit I need the support
even today. It is quite embarrassing but the truth is till date
before exams/interviews/ meetings I get scared and I get all
worked up. I need a shot of confidence from Amma or Paatti.
Without knowing any integral calculus or complex Fourier
transformations I worry about, these two women are my sole
cheering squad.
I think my mother has a standard email saved
in her drafts with the lines, “Pappa, don’t worry, parichaila
nalla mark vanguva.” I need that confidence boost every once in
a while. My husband has learnt that behind the ambitious,
hyperactive, confident gal the world takes me to be; there is a
shy gal lurking, who needs a confidence booster every now and
then. A few friends know it and I call them my best friends.
And that is the way I get over my shyness and
issues. My very own personal cheering squad! I am lucky to have
that support system and it is my very survival. I did not need a
qualified psychiatrist to tell me this because I know me and I
have learnt to accept my problems and instead of worrying about
them, I have devised a system to get over them. This is my
effort and it is a daily effort and before long it becomes
routine and the world will see you as a confident go-getter like
it sees me today.
And now you know, why my mother laughed at my
article? I am the shy gal I vividly described, hesitant to talk
to strangers and ask for help and there I was telling others to
ask for help. Yes, Amma, your daughter has grown into someone
you can hopefully be proud of, someone who has learnt to face
her fears, successfully get over hurdles and someone who can
overcome her shyness to make small talk. Thanks, Amma! And if
you are a shy one like me, go for it! You can do it! And if you
know a shy person, join their cheering squad, they need you!
- V
http://poohsden.blogspot.com/
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